i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
