i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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