YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
