After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
