She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
