I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
