i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
