Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
