you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
In other news, I just burned my penis
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize