This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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