i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
