Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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