ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
