The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
