super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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