How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
