Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
