Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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