I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
