He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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