A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
