Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
