I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
