I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
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