At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
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