WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
