I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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