he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Randomize
