There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
love makes seman taste better
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
