"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
