I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
