Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
