another moral hangover. fuck.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
