the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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