I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just had sex on a roof
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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