I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize