Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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