what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
