apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
