I think i sorta joined a cult last night
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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