So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
