Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
