I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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