im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
