You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
