Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
