I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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