do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
