I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i think i have two assholes
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
