if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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