Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
