Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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