this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
