the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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