It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
