you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize