I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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