I hate all girls vehemently.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
