I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
