My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
