ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
